Life is not fair, neither is love

Today i'm beginning to question if God really do exist and other thoughts about religion. all these negative stuff in my head, it is making me panic. i don't believe in my religion but i believe in God, i love God. and i believe that i can get through this.


we went to the hospital yesterday because my brother need's to be checked up. we got the results and his 'sickness' is getting severe. he shouldn't be stressed out about anything because it could get worse, so my parents do anything for him.


after all this i realized life is just not fair, neither is love

Just do what you want, the rest of the world can go to hell.

This week was just like any other week i had, well except the terrible internet connection i'm experiencing right now. fuck. my mom already called the service provider on this and still, nothing happened. this is one of those days where i can just punch my computer screen, it annoys the hell out of me.

I'm also experiencing a lot of people who copy me on twitter, its annoying then i realized something. people copy you because you're clearly above them. and you know what they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, they copy people because they want to be like you.

by the way its LOHANTHONY's birthday tomorrow (i'm in manila so its advance here) if you follow me on twitter you'll know that he's the only reason why i open my twitter its true because i retweet him alot and he's kinda my inspiration to be a diva and probably the reason why i don't give a hell what other people say about me. 

i sing, i swim

yesterday we celebrated nadine's birthday. we went to a korean buffet for dinner it was supposed to be lunch but we decided to wait for our friend to come, so we waited for 5 hours at different teashops (Gosh i hate milktea's). Nadine is one of my friends who was there when i needed someone, and hopefully i will never lose. i have another birthday to attend  before school starts and i'm looking forward to it.

today was such a  hot day, i hate it. it felt like hell, and i'm getting a rash from the sun , propably the reason why i don't go out much, and why i wear sunscreen everyday. i'm just patiently waiting for  summer to be over so that i can go out of my house without burning or getting a rash. i'm super cautious when it comes to my skin, and probably my biggest insecurity.

this time i know what's coming to me, i'll think of it more like a trial rather than just bad luck but honestly it doesn't stop me from being anxietic (i made that word up but its anxiety). all i have to do is to trust God because that's all i can do, i'm 16 and i still don't have anything yet. but i really feel bad about everything around me, it hurts me so bad. but things happen for a reason.

so i'm moving schools this senior year, fresh start, new friends,teachers, everything. i'm hoping it turns out well. i'm not really happy moving to the schools i'm in, even teachers are bullies. i hate it there so much. i'm having such a hard time right now, but instead of ranting about it on any social sites i'm blogging it here. somedays aren't really yours at all, today is just isn't my day.

The past few days i've been really busy, by busy i mean watching tv, reading. Eating and listening to music. Little things that makes me really happy! So last night i was so drunk i vomited like 5 times! i don't drink anything else than wine but thinking of it right now kinda disgust me and I woke up with a bad headache!

School starts in like 25 days and 30 days before my birthday, back to being stressful and shit people do to annoy me! But i'll  get them off my back.  i will try to be serious this time i swear and try NOT to cheat. I still dont know if they'd allow me to move to another class but if they don't i will cut a bitch.
Last year of highschool then college! Really looking forward to it.

So right now i'm watching narnia (again!), Writing this on my ipad and just having a normal boring day.

Thinking of Vlogging but there's two things why i can't:

1) i don't have a descent camera
2) i don't have the guts to do it. God knows i tried.

throw me a dream please its been a dreamless sleep

so i'm really getting anxious about this enrollment for school thing because most of my friends are in the same section but there's another option on how i can get to the class i wanted and that is to tell my parents to move me to the one i wanted but i doubt i can pull that off. but i should think positive even though the shitty negatives are all over me. but i just hope everything turns out the way i want it to.

so today i'm starting a new book called Ashes by ilsa j. bick i had this book for a year now but i never bother to actually read it but i got more interested in books rather than before ( i said on my ask.fm that i prefer movies rather than books but i seriously regret saying that ) after that book i'm reading the alchemist which my parents said was a lovely book.

i don't feel summer ending its still so very hot in here honestly i don't really like summer, i rather work my ass off for 9 hours in school than summer besides the fact that its VERY HOT during summer i hate getting tan (tan? more like skin cancer to me.) so i better start reading this book.


                                                   here's a song to brighten your day

some infinities are bigger than other infinities

So i'm back! i haven't been posting a lot, even on twitter and facebook. i'm spending the rest of the summer offline and reading books (most of the time). School starts in june and i hope it turns out well since its my last year in highschool but i'm also looking forward to college, it could be interesting! i made a promise to myself that after college i'll move to new york.

also i finished reading struck by lightning by chris colfer ( a good book! i think y'all should read it) and downloaded the movie. its kinda a sad ending but it has so much meaning! i always admired chris colfer and his talent! he's one of my biggest inspiration ever!
                                      

                                       here's  something for all of you! Good Night